This is hillarious....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMB5L0VoszI&NR=1
If you are a fundamentalist, its probably better you don't see this... if you are a liberal kinda person, this is hillarious!

Fun times in autopac land

Today I decided that it was time to get my manitoba drivers license. Since I have 30 days from the date of my work permit to get it done and today was day 29, I figured it was time to get going on that. 2 1/2 hours later I emerged back out of the autopac store with my drivers license. It was crazy! They had to call some call center in Winnipeg to check that my Minnesota drivers license was valid and that I had no bad things on my driving record. Well, the call center person was quite intent on catching a forgery today. First they were adament that East Grand Forks Minnesota does not exist. How do you argue with that? I mean, I told them that the zip there is 56721....and that it is just across the bridge from grand forks in an eastern direction. My high school diploma is from east grand forks senior high, so if egf does not exist I forsee some serious problems in the future for me and my imaginary diploma from my imaginary home town. They said that since it was not on their computer, there must be a problem. So I had to give my US drivers license to the autopac guy to fax to the Winnipeg call center. Autopac guy did something wrong because my license got jammed in the fax machine, as I was fairly certain it would. so in order to get my license back I had to sit there messing around with their fax machine in an attempt to get it out. Well, they wound up giving me my Canadian drivers license after all. If they could have just pulled out a map and believed me for a second about the egf thing, I could have been out in time for Dr. Phil today. Oh well, I ate handfuls of the mints they had in a bowl on the desk while I was working on the fax issue...hehe.... I figure we are somewhat even.

Eaves troughs and sociopaths

So, I was in the middle of watching Dr. Phil yesterday when my doorbell rang...6 times in a row, but who is counting. I opened the door and there was a man wearing an orange safety vest riding a bicycle. He first asked me if my mother is home. I know it is always going to be a good conversation when they ask to speak to my parents right off the bat. Not wanting to give away my age, I ask this young gent what it is he wants. Well, he tells me that he wants to talk to me about my eaves troughs. Apparently he wants to clean them. I told him my husband takes care of that stuff and almost close the door. Then he says, "Your neighbor should really keep their dog inside, it almost attacked me." So, I asked him if the dog was off its chain. He said no, but that the chain can reach the door (No, it can't...not even close). Then he says that if he comes back here and the dog comes near him, he will kill it. To make a long story with a lot of swear words coming out of my mouth short, I told him that he has no buisness coming over here and if he better think twice about killing a dog on this street. Especially since it is he who is trespassing. What is it about Winklerites and the random killing/abuse of housepets? Some little fucker was shooting arrows at my dog a while back. The little SOB is lucky I wasn't out there while this was happening. He would have found his arrows being jammed up an uncomfortable area of his body. Instead, I took all the arrows I could find and broke them in half. They should add a little something to the Welcome to Winkler sign....i'm thinking that adding "Welcome to Winkler....alcohol helps" would suffice!

I'm lovin' it

I really love the lack of job opportunities available in this CRAPPY town. So far..the only decent paying job available that does not involve helping livestock get it on involves the phrase, "table for two?" I'm really loving that. I have worked so hard at animal research and other aspects of reseach/healthcare only to move to a town where the only thing they research is wheat. I am just very annoyed. Winkler does not have a recession to blame for the lack of decent jobs here. It has more to do with the fact that this town sucks. A LOT!! I almost took the job as a hostess, but when the lady asked me if I think I would be able to run a till and assemble the silverware rolls...I JUST couldn't take it. Sure I ran a till for years on end at the pepper and a trained monkey could roll silverware, but the thought of working that job at this point in my life was just too upsetting.

Stepford Wives, anyone?

I have had a revelation as to what is so weird about living in this vibrant cross section of Canada called Winkler. Half (or likely more) of the people are the exact same person with a different body. Their words and actions really are about the same damn thing from person to person in this creepy Stepford-ian way. Here is a brief synopsis: Jesus:Good, bible learnin': Good, book learning: bad, Popping out 12 children:"Blessings", Family planning:"Evil", Science:TERRIBLE, taking the bible as the only infalliable word of GOD: the only way to survive, Alternative religions or no religion at all: That's it! You're shunned! Just once I would love to see something not so fucking "normal". Just about every teenaged girl I have met here is so freaking excited about marrying right after high school and popping out children. Believe me...that was sooo not anywhere close to on my mind at 18. It really didnt cross my mind until I met Greg at 23. I would never have been ready at 18 for the responsibilities of married life. Most people aren't. But I guess they have been brainwashed at their mennonite churches for quite some time about how holy married life is and how any contrary thought is sinful. The only way I would allow greg to raise my future children in that individuality-stifling church (or really, under any organized religion) is literally over my dead body.

Hell Yeah!

I got a letter today from CIC indicating that I need to report to the Winnipeg office in early May to receive my paperwork that indicates that I am a permanent resident of Canada. oh yeah...AND pay another 490.00 fee. Well...the taking of all my money aside, this is good news. I am shocked how fast they processed the last stages. I was not supposed to be hearing anything back from them for another 6-8 months and they finished it in 8 days. I am going to be able to go across the border again in roughly June/early July. Oh, Super Target...how I have missed thee!

conservation?

The husband and I were walking around the mall yesterday and saw that a conservation club was having a raffle. Top prize in this raffle? A HUGE truck!

Love Love Love

It is almost that time of year..no, I am not talking about another one of Canada's seemingly made up holidays. It is almost the third year anniversary of my first date with my husband. And, it sounds sickly sweet, but I really do not have any idea how I survived the dating world before I met my husband. I dealt with most every dating issue that a person can shake a stick at. Mommy issues, commitment issues, money issues, staying off the drugs issues, too much liquid courage issues ..you get the idea. But once I met my Canadian, everything fell into place very quickly with no issues required. It is really nice to be accepted and loved as I am and it is also fabulous to be really proud of my husband and who he is. My husband is wonderful and there is no "but" to that sentence. I was just approved for my work permit, so it is nice to see the end of our main stressor (me having to stay at home all day every day). And, now that I will have my work permit, I will be able to register my vehicle in Canada and drive! That is exciting. Although, I mostly want to make some cash. I can't wait to build up our savings and move the hell out of here! But, my husband took care of us throughout and without any problems. Please, girl friends of mine... listen to me closely... If I learned anything dating all of those losers that I used to be with it is this: Do not accept less than you are worth in a relationship. And, I think most people are pretty damn fabulous. It kills me to hear so many girl friends of mine say, "Oh, I miss him even though he cheated on me every chance he got/couldn't provide for anyone but his damn self/forces me to do things I don't want to do/ takes my money and spends it on himself etc." The right guy is out there and I am proof of that. Don't settle. Ever.