Westside!

Good Lord... I just saw a pic of my corn-fed country cousin and a herd of his equally corn-fed whiteboy friends at some school dance. He posted this pic on myspace. in the pic they are all flashing the "W" for westside gang sign.... in their carhardts, flannel shirts, Lee's and Levi's. hahahaha.....i think that if tupac and Biggie weren't really dead by now that would be enough to cause them both multiple aneurisms. "Westside, Yo! I think I'ma gonna go to my pick up truck and blast me some songs about my dead dog and my pickup truck! YeeeeeHaw!"

Germans in my Window

I live next door to a German family who started off normal enough. There is a Mother, Father and two boys living over there. But since this summer I have noticed that the father has a disturbing staring problem. Let me explain. I do pilates and yoga downstairs in one of our extra bedrooms. Since this summer, I have noticed that sometimes when I turn around the father is staring at me. Not like one of those times when something catches your eye and you look into someones window....no....like standing 3 feet from my window, slack jawed, bug eyed stare. The curtains we had down there were yellow, and sometimes he could see through. So I put up a large black towel over the window. All I can figure is that pilates and yoga must be the menno version of XXX-porn. This morning, I was in a hurry to get out the door so i was changing fast by the dryer, which is also downstairs. I heard a tapping on the window behind me.....and...it...was....Martini. She was trying to give me one of her toys through the window. But, when I tapped on the window back at her and said "no no" she had the common sense to look away. I'm thinking my dog is smarter than my neighbor...or at least less creepy.

Dear Student Loan people: I hate you

I think the title sums up my feelings. Ok, so a few weeks ago I went onto my student loan account to see how much was due this month. I sent the money down to my US account and waited for it to get there. I logged onto my account yesterday and the amount due was 25.00 lower than I initially thought...so I thought "whatever" and still paid it as scheduled. I logged off and about 10 minutes later I remembered that I forgot to write down the total amount due for my records. I logged back on, and the amount now said that I owed the bigger amount. So I cancelled all payments and waited till today to call them and figure out what the hell was going on. They were not so helpful. They told me that there was no way that the mistake was their fault, initially. After I pressed them a little more to explain to me how I could have changed my own amount due on their system, they admitted that it sounded like a glitch on their end. I told them that they should make note of this occurrance because some people may not have checked back on the site and accidentally paid the smaller amount. (This place is very very very fond of late fees and sending angry letters, even if the payment is a day late....in this case, it would have not been the student's fault) The person I talked to admitted that even though it was their problem, anyone who does not check back will be charged all their late fees and whatnot. I know it is only a 25.00 difference, but that is a big enough difference to me. I get pissed when cashiers don't give me back all my change. I am just like that. And the fact that they would still charge people their late fees for a problem on their end is disgusting and a sign I need to pay this student loan off sooner than later. I am not against businesses making a profit, but screwing with people is another story.

My Canadian

Tomorrow I celebrate three years of being married to the most fabulous Canadian in all the land. All I can say is that time has seriously sped on by. Dating the personality-deficient rejects of my past felt like work. Every day I had to work at not smacking them square upside the head. All the people I knew in the past always told me that marriage is hard, difficult, painful work. But that has not been my experience. Sure there are bad days, but if you are with the right person every day is still filled with love. And, that is the best thing in the world. Go out there and find your other half!

My elderly self...

I had the neighbor girl over today, to get rid of some clothes I still had from before I had a booty. I got rid of like a whole garbage bag of clothes from my high school days. I used to love getting new-ish clothes from cousins and family friends, so it was kinda cool to give some of my old stuff new life. I love it how kids in highschool think I am about 10x older than I am. She said something about how she was so surprised that clothes from when I was in highschool are still cute! its like she thinks I went to school in the 1900's or something. I am an old lady to the young, hip kiddies.... sad, sad.

yeah right....

My husband and I were in Winnipeg last weekend. We walked past this little shop that offered tarot readings. While some of it was crazy acurate, she said something funny.... she said that I am a natural around children. haha...that made me laugh out loud. Children have been beneficial in my life in that some are natural birth control for everyone they come into contact with. I think I taught one too many swimming lessons! My special trick to keep the brats less annoying was to make them do like 100 bobs per session... which was upgraded to multiple laps as they got older. I should write a childcare book...maybe call it "busywork to keep your kid's mouth zipped". Some kids are cool... but then I think, "what if I had kids who mirrored my mother's new husband's children" which leads to me wanting to chew some birth control pills.
Maybe her cards were broken....

Well if that's not sin, eh?

Today i brought my husband some lunch and later i went to McDonalds to get an iced coffee. I decided to drink my iced coffee in the store so i could read my magazine. I was seated near two Mennonite women who turned out to be really rather amusing. They were talking about the "sudden" "large amount" of women who do not do as their husband asks of them in Winkler. It was honestly very hard to not throw my two-cents into this conversation. Apparently, according to these women, "our husbands were made to be superior to us" and "to not do as things has always been is surely a sin." And my personal favorite:"Women complain that their husbands are abusing them, but women on their own are unable to know the true way to the Lord. Our husbands are just gently leading us to salvation." Honorary mention: "some women just need a firm hand." (I took direct quotes...I wrote them all over my tray liner) I kept looking at them and laughing in a "holy crap you are crazy" sort of way. I think I love this town. Without these people, would I really have something to write about? Pretty soon i will have enough for a book! What kind of woman would ever think that abuse is a "gentle" path to salvation? If that is the route I have to take, seriously....Fuck that! I love the assumption that women are too feeble-minded to figure things like their own spiritual lives.I love it when people assume that I am incapable of anything above popping out children, cooking and cleaning. To be a woman with a mind of your own is a serious problem to some people in this town. Good thinking though! If the women in this town started to think for themselves and lived up to their potential there is no way that half of the crap that goes on in this town would continue!

New Friends

So, there is this guy that comes door to door frequently to ask if he can clean out our gutters. We don't allow him to for several reasons. 1. my husband works in a hardware store and sees firsthand the real cost of allowing him to touch anything in your house... generally it is about double the price after you fix what he has destroyed. 2. he charges too much. 3. he threatened to kill our neighbor's dog. 4. he strikes me as a little inbred. 5. he talks to me like I am some kind of little house frau who cannot hold a conversation and cannot make decisions on my own house. 6. we do our own work on our house. Well, a few days ago he came back. First, he rang our doorbell 6 times in a row...since he is not 5 years old, I can only assume that this is where the inbreeding comes in. I opened the door and he very abruptly asked to speak to the "man of the house"... so I asked him what it is he wanted. he said..."I dont have time for this, let me speak to a man"... If you know ANYTHING about me, you would know that this is NOT a wise thing to say to me if you want to keep your package attached. so I glared at him, told him to fuck off and slammed the door in his face. So he started ringing the doorbell again...over and over. So I answered the door again...this time holding a hammer. he was very abrupt again and said.."Go get your husband now". I then proceeded to tell him that if he doesn't change his attitude that he is not welcome on our property. he then said, "fine, I just want to know if I can clean our your gutters for 30.00." Now, I want to know if this was clear enough.... My response was that we will "NEVER! EVER! EVER! EVER! have any work for him".... somehow I believe that this will get confused in his inbred little brain as meaning he should come back next week. Sadly, he is one of the more functioning Winkler residents!

Some People...

One of my friends from college is one of those types that always seems to back the “candidate” for elections that has no shot in hell of being nominated. For example, he was/is a Ron Paul supporter. He believes in limited government authority. Essentially this means that govt. has the only job of protecting liberty, so even if all of the members of a nation are standing in a bread line, living in a tent town and dying at 30 due to lack of healthcare, as long as the govt. has protected liberty they are still doing a pretty good job. Well, since I am greatly in favor of Universal Healthcare, I wanted to know what the fringe members of the voting populations feel about it.
Here are some quotes of the conversation:
“The sad truth is that the system that has been constructed in Canada looks like one designed to make its people go "on the take". If it wasn't made that way by design (to keep government people in power), it certainly gets the job done anyway. Sorry Kristy, the tyranny has been run on you and has bought you off.”
“a reason the system is in tough shape to begin with is because of government interference.”

Now, let me give you a run down on all the great things you get in this crazy tyranny filled society that US citizens go without. Many products which are needed for day to day life have their prices set by the govt. such as milk, bread, flour, etc. Thus, people can afford the basics. We actually found out that day care up here for children is less per day than we paid for our dog to attend doggie daycare in the US. Those prices are set by the govt. Many of the companies that people need are also run by the govt. such as car insurance. They are not allowed to make over a certain amount of profit and the excess is distributed to the people who paid monthly payments that year. I paid car insurance from ages 18-25 in the US and that had not happened to me once. It is important to the Canadian govt. that children are not raised in poverty. People who have a child under 5 are given a stipend for daycare and a certain amount for food etc. until the child is 18. Not to mention that every person from the gas station attendant to CEO’s are given the healthcare they need. For many things you do not have to wait.. when I was sick and at the ER we had a wait of 5 minutes. A friend needed knee surgery and had to wait about a week, but it was not a serious ailment. Wages make up for a lot of the increase in taxes. But, you know what? I have no problem paying a little more in taxes or waiting for a surgery if it means that everyone gets healthcare. It is a part of being a part of the human society. Not to mention that having healthy people make for a stronger nation.
Have I been “bought off”? I call it enlightenment. I have found out that things can be better than what is happening in the US. Is that the same as “bought off”? Crazy me for thinking that healthcare is a right. I have friends who have received $10,000-20,000 bills after stays in US hospitals. We can do better America!

My time at the hospital

I just got out of the hospital yesterday. I had been throwing up with a fever for 2 days and feeling ill for 3. We went to Urgent care and they said that I needed to go to the Emergency Room. The doctor diagnosed me with pyelonephritis, which is an infection of the kidneys. I was so damn ill. I had a total of 5 days where my fever went over 105...I couldnt hold down water. It really sucked. I was dehydrated so for my 2 days in the hospital I was hooked up to an IV the whole time. I also had IV antibiotics the whole time. They said my condition was life threatening so the antibiotics were really strong..they burned in my veins. It was horrid. One of the antibiotics had the potential side effect of making me permanently deaf, but they told me that I had to have it. But I am very thankful that all of the medical care was free. I had tons of tests done, tons of medical care, doctors and nurses checking up on me often. I was kind of thinking about that during my time there. Because I was in Canada they could order any test they felt I needed to make sure I survived. In the US, the insurance company and people with little medical background are in the mix and things have to be pre-approved. Because we were in Canada we could get our results right away and quickly see where things were at because the doctors did not have to prove that I really needed a certain test. I feel more now than ever that Universal Health Care is great. Healthcare is a right and should never be reserved for those who can afford it.

Damn U, Emotions!

I was out wandering around Winkler's sad excuse for a mall today. I saw a sign up for a support group in Winkler. What are they suporting each other through, you might ask: Emotions! It is a support group for people to assist each other with their emotions. Seriously what the hell. The sign said: "Do you have feelings?" "Do you need to express your feelings in a safe environment?""Do you want to talk about your emotions?"..... This is so odd. You know, this is what happens when you supress your emotions. You wind up needing to go to a support group to deal with the fact that you do have feelings and emotions. That is a crazy thing. Emotions are what make us human. I have a quick fix: when you need to cry...CRY! When you need to yell: YELL! When you are happy and everything is ok: BE HAPPY AND OK! There! I just saved you all one hour per week sitting in a circle!

Little Blessings Everywhere

it just feels like when you live in Winkler that nothing is ever really yours. Sure it may belong to you, but apparently baby jesus wants us to share everything with random strangers even if they are annoying little fucks that will destroy it. Case in point: living in my neighborhood. Behind us there is a row of trailers. These trailers each have a backyard of about 2 feet. So what is a parent to do? Send them to play on our big yard of course! Each 2 bedroom trailer houses right around 12 children, give or take. So these swarms of children like to get into all sorts of shit on our yard. They up rooted trees we planted, tried to shoot Martini with plastic arrows, threw rocks at our house at 7am on a Saturday, Put a tire swing in our tree (which we promptly cut down), raided my garden, set up their lawn chairs around our backyard as though it is theirs, invited their own flea-bitten dogs to run on our yard causing Martini to wind up with fleas, taunted the other neighbor dog (the one that could bite their heads clean off in one bite), and when greg and I are working on the yard they go back to their trailer and just stare. One would assume that yelling at them to go back to their trailers would do, but not one of them speak English. So now I have taken to just random yelling if they are even a hair on our property without our approval. Yelling while waving garden tools is a bridge across the language barrier, right? Little Winklerites: I am truly sorry that your parents did not financially plan your arrival better. Your yard does suck. It really does. But that is not our fucking problem. Not even a little bit. I can't wait until the fence goes up...maybe next summer!

hmm....

I am pretty much different from all the family on greg's side. This happens when you grow up somewhere that doesn't totally suck. So, my husband has this cousin. He is married, and his wife is on facebook. I tried to add her and she declined my request. That doesn't bother me too much...that is where the phrase "fuck you too, biatch" comes in nice and handy. The problem is that she just popped out a kid and we will be expected to attend a baby shower and purchase a baby gift. While its only 20.00, I am really standing firm in the fact that I am not going to be attending the shower and purchasing a gift for a person who can't even manage to pretend to enjoy me as a fake facebook friend. Fuck that! is that bitchy? Sorry! But my real friends may pop out children someday and I dont want to waste a penny on someone who dislikes me! This will be a hard pill for some of my inlaws to swallow but I am a real person and I do not handle fake well. A true existance includes not wasting time on people who will not waste time on you!

Wow

I just found out that last spring semester at UND I won a contest with an essay that I turned in for a Women Studies class. The essay that I turned in was "How Does Feminism Function in a Mennonite World" and I won the undergraduate division. That is so surprising to me. I didn't even know that my professor had turned my paper in! She apparently held on to my paper and turned it in last year. Now if only I can get that essay published in the Winkler Times...lol.....

My letter to the editor......

"I am writing in response to the letter to the editor "Two wrongs do not make a right", Aug 8th. In respect to the editor’s suggestion to end the abortion debate, I am not writing in response to his views on abortion. I am writing in response to his astronomically shocking views on rape. To suggest that a woman has the choice to not be raped by choosing to “not dress provocatively” and “not hang around men of ill repute” is disgustingly incorrect. This puts the responsibility for stopping rape in the victim’s hands instead of the perpetrator. As if because of what the woman was wearing the man “couldn’t help himself”. Even in places in the world where it is law for women to keep most of their skin covered, rape still occurs. This is because the act of rape has little to do with the sex act itself and everything to do with a need to dominate and control women. Rape occurs to women despite age, social class, religious affiliation and even clothing choice. But regardless of what a woman is wearing or who she is hanging out with she does not share any of the blame if she is raped. She is the victim! Even the most sexually provocative of all women who hangs out with the most questionable of all people has the right to refuse sex. But it is a well known fact that rape does not just occur to sexually provocative women hanging out in shady areas. It happens everywhere. It happens to our sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and wives. Until the day when violence against women is unheard of, women need to educate themselves on how to stay safe and defend themselves. "
Take that!

Oh...My....God....

I cannot believe the level of ignorance that is allowed to exist freely in Winkler Manitoba. I seriously cannot. I am going to quote a letter to the editor which was posted in the Winkler Times in response to an abortion debate which has been debated amongst a small number of pro-choicers and a gazillion pro-lifers who can only quote the bible as their source of info. Ok..here is the quote...
"I agree that abortion should never be allowed. It has not been said that all pregnancies are the decision of the mothers. Some women do get raped. They have no choice in this matter but they do have the choice not to dress provocatively or hang around with men of ill repute. While this will not stop the determined rapist it will cut down on lust by men whose minds are not trained to ignore scantily clad women."
HOLY FUCK! JUST HOLY FUCK! Talk about blaming the victim! This quote puts the responsibility for stopping rape in the woman's hands by saying she should be a good little girl and wear ankle length skirts and 1800's style dresses like the rest of the women in this town. This is bullshit, plain and simple. Rape is about a need to control women, regardless of the woman's age, clothing style or anthing else. The guy who wrote this is known to be very Baptist. Many Baptists make their women wear the long skirts and high collars. haha....in related news...
Last night Martini tried to eat a door to door Baptist Missionary. This guy was trying to get people to join his church. I dunno...being punished for being female has never sat well with me. Martini jumped out of my arms and tried to go for his neck. Ha! Anyone who gives me crap for calling martini "my baby" can officially kiss my ass. that is totally my girl!

Poor Doggies and Kitties...

I just heard that the only Humane Society in S. Manitoba, which is in Morden has closed. The place they were renting from sold the building out from under them. This really bothers me. Where are all of the abandoned/otherwise homeless animals going to go? Winkler and Morden have a strict 2 dog/2 cat max. bylaw, which I do understand for some people. People around here just do not take care of their animals. The people across the street should never ever own animals...EVER. Even a fish. Animals just do not survive their house. This is what happens when you put children under 5 in charge of another living creature totally. They now have 2 puppies who get out of their pen in the back almost every day. My neighbor next to me winds up bathing them because they are always covered in bugs, fleas, dirt etc. before returning them. They have had these puppies for over a month and they have not yet purchased dog food for them...they are feeding them milkbones and only milkbones. They are an example of people who the bylaw was probably made for. But, if there is now no humane society the bylaw needs to be ammended to make up for it. People who are responsible pet owners may be interested in taking in more than 2. I totally would provided we can find a homeless puppy who wont kill me (allergies!).

Funny Stuff...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKeHGYbpCNg&feature=related
I cannot watch more than about 30 seconds of this guy's show without feeling as though I would rather jab my eyes and ears out than watch another second. Thus, I find this a great video!

JesusLand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seUvYO0IC4I

My life is weird...

Someone reminded me at a little family reunion that we were having that my life is really weird. I get injured in really the weirdest ways. Someone on a bicycle hits me: I limp away with my ankle broken in 5 places. The fork injury is also definitely on the list. I find this reassuring though, at least I know the injury that eventually leads to my death has a great chance of being amusing. I'm thinking the headline will read, "Man wearing gigantic chicken suit formed out of Gelatin and Marshmallows trips and suffocates local resident" or something of the sort. Yay for my weird life!

This will be really funny someday....

So I was at the bar tonight, and towards the end of my shift I was counting my money and not paying attention. A couple of people were walking from the hotel to the bar and I didnt look at them too closely. Well....if you read my facebook you know...one or both of them tried to stab me in the head with a fork. It immediately knocked the wind out of me, so I was crying and gasping just because it shocked me....while it broke skin it wasnt the pain that made me freak it was the shock. So I am crying and gasping and these fuckers say, "whoops! We will leave you a tip, ok! Sorry!" and they go into the bar. Next my coworkers come into the dining room and were wondering what happened..so i told them and they were like "oh"...and "do you want a hug"....so in between crying and gasping, i am thinking what the hell is wrong with all these people. Next my boss comes in and hears what happened and seems interested...then tells me that I have to be back in here by 11am tomorrow because someone else can't make it so I will. That would be what one calls the last fucking straw. I was like...No...I will not...I will not come in ever again. I am sooooo done here. He tries to make me give him 2 weeks notice...I'd like to see him try and make me. I had to sic Greg on him in a way to get him to leave me the hell alone....I said, "Believe me, my husband will not be very impressed that one of your patrons hurt me and no one did shit about it..You do NOT want to try and make me come in!" then he acted all pissy...but fuck him! Fuck all of them...I'm going to bed!

"McCain's Women's Clinic"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7acdvJegOY
This is pretty good...and scary.....

KK vs.15 Birds: The Horror Story

I took my dog outside this evening and while she was running around, I was on the far end of our property checking out how my garden was doing. (Fabulous,btw! I have a frickin green thumb! Who Knew!) I called Martini to come to me, and while she was running, I saw that between us was a bird. I wasn't concerned at first because I figured it would fly away. It didnt look like a young bird. But the closer Martini got to it, the more I realized that this bird was not going to fly away. So I start telling Martini "No! No!" and Martini was listening. She was not attacking the bird but she was following it. So this little bird and my little dog are both hopping across the lawn with me totally grossed out thinking I am going to see a big blood bath soon enough. Then in the trees I hear a bunch of loud chirping followed quickly with 15 birds swooping out of the tree and coming after both Martini and myself. Let me tell you this much...I HATE birds. They are disgusting little creatures. To Martini, this was fun. The birds swooping at her head was like being in her own version of Disneyland..Martini has been trying to catch a bird her whole life. To me: not so much. I ran screaming across our lawn to the back door and ran inside. But i couldn't leave my puppy to get her eyes poked out by a bird mob, so I grabbed the first thing that resembled a bat: the big wooden-looking club from my husbands golf bag. So I ran outside with my sweatshirt over my hair and started swinging at the bird mob. Unfortunately I couldn't hit something with a club if my life depended on it (it might have in this instance), but I scared them off. While the mob was circling overhead, I got my little trouble maker dog and ran inside. I am SO not getting to sleep tonight!

Crappy Job...how I love thee!

Sure..I make tips. Lots and lots of tips. But this is the shittiest job ever. At work tonight I couldn't help but thinking about how if just one of my drunken idiots stepped on my foot I could pretend it was broken so i would never have to go back to this shitty job. I can do a fake limp, I am sure of it. But, back to reality, I have started sending my resume to places in Winnipeg more suited for a person with a degree who hasn't drank or drugged their last brain cell away. The husband is actually more and more happy about the idea of us moving a little ahead of schedule. Its simple really, make minimum wage living in Winkler or make 40-50,000 in Winnipeg. We weren't planning on selling our house this early, but we will have several weekend house fixing parties if I do find a job and we have to move. Plan on some phone calls, friends and family! he he he

Menno World is for lovers...

So, I have started a new job of sorts. Until someone starts hiring in my field in this area I will have the honor of working at a bar in the area. Holy fuck does this place have a higher than average ratio of psychos! This job has shown me this. Some people come to the bar wearing church clothes and sit there...not drinking anything and just stare at the ground. This makes me question exactly why they are at the bar in the first place.. If they were there to meet chicks, they would not be staring at the ground. If they were there to socialize they would respond back when spoken to. If you are against drinking/bars and want to brood about it, why wouldn't you do that at home? Well, anyways, I am not entirely thrilled with this job and am eagerly awaiting a job related in any way to the social sciences in this area. I applied for one with the government this week, although I HIGHLY doubt getting it because I know nothing about this particular job sector. But I am just going to send them my resume any time there is anything in the area even slightly related to my degree. I would rather study hard for an interview to prove I can handle it than serve another friggin rye/coke to a drunken idiot while getting hit on by more drunken idiots. Eventually something in my field will show up, till then, the service industry it is....oi!

Immobilizers are no fun...

This new immobilizer thing they made me get in my car is really no fun at all. What I have noticed is if my key chain swings while I am waiting at a red light or something, it stalls my car. Serious pain in my ass. I called MPI to discuss how much bullshit this immobilizer thing is because it stalls my car all day long, and their response was.."that is what it is supposed to do." Now I understand why everyone with FRIENDLY (ha!)manitoba licence plates in grand forks seem to be crappy drivers. They are trying to find a place that sells poutine, searching for someone who gives a crap about curling, negotiating a discount price on everything they buy, while their car is stalling at every intersection, EH!

Religious Discrimination at its Best

So, I have been attending a lot of interviews. I have found it very interesting the questions that they ask up here, as opposed to questions asked in geographical locations that don't suck. I never thought that it was appropriate to ask an individual what their religious affiliation is. And, it is certainly not appropriate to ask people what their ethnicity is. I have been asked questions of those type at so many interviews the past few weeks that it makes ones head spin. I always answer by avoiding the question, because the question is inappropriate. However, employers see this as a sign that I cannot down piles of perogies like the rest of their true Mennonite candidates. I even had one place call me back and tell me that while I had more education and experience than another candidate, they would prefer to hire a Mennonite. Seriously, wtf? Do they think that just because I am not a Mennonite I am going to teach all of the other employees to do crazy shit? Keg stands in the employee lounge and Ouiji boards in the board room? Not likely. I am about the most driven person ever on the job and at school. I'm glad that that employer chose religion over experience..when actual facts and procedures are needed, there will be someone right there to pray with them. All in all though, its probably for the best. If an employer acts like that, I probably do not want to work for them any ways. What I found "pack up the jeep I'm f-ing sick of this place" annoying is that when I mentioned this to a large group of my husbands associates, there were no shocked faces..no "who the hell would treat people like that"....no "I can't believe that happened..religious discrimination in Southern Manitoba is so last year" . They just continued asking me questions about where I will apply next. I started thinking..."Mennonite" can be viewed as both a culture and a religion. So to say that you want to hire this religion over education is no different than telling a candidate you would rather hire a certain ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation. If I was back home and someone said that they applied at my old work place but were turned down because of religious affiliation, I would really be unhappy. But up here, no one cares because it is not they who are being discriminated against. They are the happy majority so screw anyone who doesn't fit into their mold of who a decent person should be. We were driving into town and I noticed the welcome sign says "Winkler Manitoba...the people make the difference." I couldn't have said it better myself!

Son of a B!%@#

I received a letter from MPI (the insurance company) a few days ago stating that if I did not install an immobilizer in my vehicle that they would cancel my insurance. Apparently, my vehicle is on some magical list of the most stolen vehicles in Manitoba. I find this funny. If you take the time out of your busy juvenile delinquent day to steal MY vehicle, I swear you need to learn a little something about setting your sights a little higher in life. So I called up MPI to set up the appointment. The shop in Winkler could not get me in until September...while the shop in Carman could get me in right away. So I went with the latter. It was terribly interesting. Being stuck in Carman for 4 hours is less than exciting. They have no chain restaurants that I could find, so I walked to this delightful dive located down the street from the shop. You know how some dives are great restaurants in disguise? Well, this was not one of those times. Soggy fries, weird burnt crunchy things on the outside of my grilled cheese sandwich. I mean, how do you screw up a grilled cheese sandwich? Chef Gordon Ramsay's head would explode there. So after not eating much lunch, I took a walk on this walking path type thing outiside the dive. I walked for quite a while, when I saw a park bench and decided to just listen to one of the podcasts that I have downloaded on my IPOD. Things were going great until this strange man sat down next to me and went into great detail about his pet turtle. I didn't want to know what "pet turtle" is a synonym for, so I decided that it was time to get back to the shop. So I waited and waited for my vehicle to be done. After some time, and many texts to my friend Ju, it was done. The shop guy told me, "By the way, you have a leak." Me, not knowing anything about cars, went to go look closer. He pointed out the hose and said that it was leaking somehow. So I was thinking..ok..hoses can leak...I will just get it home to my husband and he will fix it somehow. On the drive home though, I noticed that I was slowly losing my power steering. Upon my husband inspecting it further, my power steering line was cut. It gets better...there was an obvious tool mark on my power steering line...this was not just a result of pressure or something like that. This hose was mysteriously right near where he was installing all sorts of wires for the immobilizer. Son of a B!%@#!!!!! Its one thing to accidently cut something..it is quite another to pass it off as something that has been occurring for a while and then put the girl who knows nothing about cars on the road. I'm calling this guy and MPI tomorrow...Its on, B!%@#!!

Bible thumpers be wary.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RV46fsmx6E&feature=related
They make a lot of good points.

This is hillarious....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMB5L0VoszI&NR=1
If you are a fundamentalist, its probably better you don't see this... if you are a liberal kinda person, this is hillarious!

Fun times in autopac land

Today I decided that it was time to get my manitoba drivers license. Since I have 30 days from the date of my work permit to get it done and today was day 29, I figured it was time to get going on that. 2 1/2 hours later I emerged back out of the autopac store with my drivers license. It was crazy! They had to call some call center in Winnipeg to check that my Minnesota drivers license was valid and that I had no bad things on my driving record. Well, the call center person was quite intent on catching a forgery today. First they were adament that East Grand Forks Minnesota does not exist. How do you argue with that? I mean, I told them that the zip there is 56721....and that it is just across the bridge from grand forks in an eastern direction. My high school diploma is from east grand forks senior high, so if egf does not exist I forsee some serious problems in the future for me and my imaginary diploma from my imaginary home town. They said that since it was not on their computer, there must be a problem. So I had to give my US drivers license to the autopac guy to fax to the Winnipeg call center. Autopac guy did something wrong because my license got jammed in the fax machine, as I was fairly certain it would. so in order to get my license back I had to sit there messing around with their fax machine in an attempt to get it out. Well, they wound up giving me my Canadian drivers license after all. If they could have just pulled out a map and believed me for a second about the egf thing, I could have been out in time for Dr. Phil today. Oh well, I ate handfuls of the mints they had in a bowl on the desk while I was working on the fax issue...hehe.... I figure we are somewhat even.

Eaves troughs and sociopaths

So, I was in the middle of watching Dr. Phil yesterday when my doorbell rang...6 times in a row, but who is counting. I opened the door and there was a man wearing an orange safety vest riding a bicycle. He first asked me if my mother is home. I know it is always going to be a good conversation when they ask to speak to my parents right off the bat. Not wanting to give away my age, I ask this young gent what it is he wants. Well, he tells me that he wants to talk to me about my eaves troughs. Apparently he wants to clean them. I told him my husband takes care of that stuff and almost close the door. Then he says, "Your neighbor should really keep their dog inside, it almost attacked me." So, I asked him if the dog was off its chain. He said no, but that the chain can reach the door (No, it can't...not even close). Then he says that if he comes back here and the dog comes near him, he will kill it. To make a long story with a lot of swear words coming out of my mouth short, I told him that he has no buisness coming over here and if he better think twice about killing a dog on this street. Especially since it is he who is trespassing. What is it about Winklerites and the random killing/abuse of housepets? Some little fucker was shooting arrows at my dog a while back. The little SOB is lucky I wasn't out there while this was happening. He would have found his arrows being jammed up an uncomfortable area of his body. Instead, I took all the arrows I could find and broke them in half. They should add a little something to the Welcome to Winkler sign....i'm thinking that adding "Welcome to Winkler....alcohol helps" would suffice!

I'm lovin' it

I really love the lack of job opportunities available in this CRAPPY town. So far..the only decent paying job available that does not involve helping livestock get it on involves the phrase, "table for two?" I'm really loving that. I have worked so hard at animal research and other aspects of reseach/healthcare only to move to a town where the only thing they research is wheat. I am just very annoyed. Winkler does not have a recession to blame for the lack of decent jobs here. It has more to do with the fact that this town sucks. A LOT!! I almost took the job as a hostess, but when the lady asked me if I think I would be able to run a till and assemble the silverware rolls...I JUST couldn't take it. Sure I ran a till for years on end at the pepper and a trained monkey could roll silverware, but the thought of working that job at this point in my life was just too upsetting.

Stepford Wives, anyone?

I have had a revelation as to what is so weird about living in this vibrant cross section of Canada called Winkler. Half (or likely more) of the people are the exact same person with a different body. Their words and actions really are about the same damn thing from person to person in this creepy Stepford-ian way. Here is a brief synopsis: Jesus:Good, bible learnin': Good, book learning: bad, Popping out 12 children:"Blessings", Family planning:"Evil", Science:TERRIBLE, taking the bible as the only infalliable word of GOD: the only way to survive, Alternative religions or no religion at all: That's it! You're shunned! Just once I would love to see something not so fucking "normal". Just about every teenaged girl I have met here is so freaking excited about marrying right after high school and popping out children. Believe me...that was sooo not anywhere close to on my mind at 18. It really didnt cross my mind until I met Greg at 23. I would never have been ready at 18 for the responsibilities of married life. Most people aren't. But I guess they have been brainwashed at their mennonite churches for quite some time about how holy married life is and how any contrary thought is sinful. The only way I would allow greg to raise my future children in that individuality-stifling church (or really, under any organized religion) is literally over my dead body.

Hell Yeah!

I got a letter today from CIC indicating that I need to report to the Winnipeg office in early May to receive my paperwork that indicates that I am a permanent resident of Canada. oh yeah...AND pay another 490.00 fee. Well...the taking of all my money aside, this is good news. I am shocked how fast they processed the last stages. I was not supposed to be hearing anything back from them for another 6-8 months and they finished it in 8 days. I am going to be able to go across the border again in roughly June/early July. Oh, Super Target...how I have missed thee!

conservation?

The husband and I were walking around the mall yesterday and saw that a conservation club was having a raffle. Top prize in this raffle? A HUGE truck!

Love Love Love

It is almost that time of year..no, I am not talking about another one of Canada's seemingly made up holidays. It is almost the third year anniversary of my first date with my husband. And, it sounds sickly sweet, but I really do not have any idea how I survived the dating world before I met my husband. I dealt with most every dating issue that a person can shake a stick at. Mommy issues, commitment issues, money issues, staying off the drugs issues, too much liquid courage issues ..you get the idea. But once I met my Canadian, everything fell into place very quickly with no issues required. It is really nice to be accepted and loved as I am and it is also fabulous to be really proud of my husband and who he is. My husband is wonderful and there is no "but" to that sentence. I was just approved for my work permit, so it is nice to see the end of our main stressor (me having to stay at home all day every day). And, now that I will have my work permit, I will be able to register my vehicle in Canada and drive! That is exciting. Although, I mostly want to make some cash. I can't wait to build up our savings and move the hell out of here! But, my husband took care of us throughout and without any problems. Please, girl friends of mine... listen to me closely... If I learned anything dating all of those losers that I used to be with it is this: Do not accept less than you are worth in a relationship. And, I think most people are pretty damn fabulous. It kills me to hear so many girl friends of mine say, "Oh, I miss him even though he cheated on me every chance he got/couldn't provide for anyone but his damn self/forces me to do things I don't want to do/ takes my money and spends it on himself etc." The right guy is out there and I am proof of that. Don't settle. Ever.

Health

For the longest time, I have been feeling very weird...and I may have found the reason. As many of you know, I am an avid fake sugar user. I love my diet pop especially. For about the last 2 weeks I have been experiencing headaches, tingling in my hands and feet, dizziness, muscle spasms,blurry vision, an inability to lose any weight despite a 1,200 calorie food intake etc. I read about a study where they determined that drinking diet pop has an especially negative effect on your metabolism. The study determined that each can of diet pop you consume in a day decreases your metabolism by a fairly large amount. So, I made an effort to not have any more diet pop from that moment on. While I do love the stuff, I feel I may be a little too addicted. I know it is mostly a psychological addiction, but when you have headaches every morning until you have your first diet pop, its an addiction nonetheless. So I figured that now is a good time to stop drinking the stuff since it is probably not very good for me anyways. The thought of having to carry my ass behind me in a cart is a good motivator to not drink it anymore. Now I am reading up about how many people hypothesize that there are many problems within the body in response to the fake sugar present in diet pop and other sources. I don't know if the studies that found this are correct or not, some people say that those studies are all incorrect and some say that they are dead on. All I know is what happened with me when I stopped drinking diet pop. All of the problems that I was experiencing in my body went away. All of the muscle spasms, headaches- all gone. I think that everyone should make it a point to go read these studies before ingesting more of the stuff. Maybe the studies are wrong, but I really think people should at least read up on what they have to say. I feel really good now that I have made an effort to eat and drink real things as opposed to the processed, fake diet things that I am used to.

Saved!

Sometimes living in a largely conservative environment gets me a little down. But, when I am lucky I get the chance to laugh at it! Such is the case with a trip to the local video store. My husband and I were looking around, and on the shelf was the movie Saved, which I already own. Across the movie on the shelf in this conservative little town was a sticker that said, "Warning: offensive religious material". I find this hillarious on so many levels. I figure someone must have complained about how the movie deals with teenage pregnancy. I feel that this mythical complaining person should have watched this movie to the end. At the end of this movie, they really explain that no one really knows what religion or belief is right. What is offensive about that? they clearly point out in this movie some of the hypocracy of some religious-professing people, but that happens. You know what offends me? The fact that I cannot attend any functions here without hearing a sermon. The fact that religious affiliation and your place in heaven or hell is discussed no matter where you go. Also, the fact I cannot find a decent take-out place open on a Sunday! Living life, for me, does not involve damning people to hell. Take a chill pill, people! Also, do watch Saved. It really is a good movie!

Does no one in Canada have hips?

The other day, my husband decided to finally help with the daily cleaning tasks around the house. The way he "helped" me was by putting my favorite jeans in the washer.....followed by dryer. (note to males: many articles of womens clothing shrink in the dryer. When in doubt, hang it up!) So, this led me on my new mission of finding a new pair of jeans to call my favorite. After hitting every store that small town Canada has to offer, I am annoyed beyond belief. In most stores I went to, the sizes of all jeans which I liked went from sizes 0-6 and then jumped to 16 and up. Where is the happy medium? I give kudos to any designer that makes cute clothes for the girls who are somewhere in the middle and still want to have cute clothes. I noticed that Sarah Jessica Parker's clothing line, Bitten, offers clothes in sizes 2-22. This is awesome. Beautiful comes in many sizes and hopefully more designers come to understand that sometime in the very near future.

Hello Everyone!

So, I have slowly creeped down the boredom ladder and now am the proud owner of a blog of my very own. I'm sure in the future this blog will contain many "special" converstaion topics such as my feelings towards the speed with which Canada processes work permits (slow as a snail) and my feelings towards country living (hell on earth). Till then, my people!