KK vs.15 Birds: The Horror Story

I took my dog outside this evening and while she was running around, I was on the far end of our property checking out how my garden was doing. (Fabulous,btw! I have a frickin green thumb! Who Knew!) I called Martini to come to me, and while she was running, I saw that between us was a bird. I wasn't concerned at first because I figured it would fly away. It didnt look like a young bird. But the closer Martini got to it, the more I realized that this bird was not going to fly away. So I start telling Martini "No! No!" and Martini was listening. She was not attacking the bird but she was following it. So this little bird and my little dog are both hopping across the lawn with me totally grossed out thinking I am going to see a big blood bath soon enough. Then in the trees I hear a bunch of loud chirping followed quickly with 15 birds swooping out of the tree and coming after both Martini and myself. Let me tell you this much...I HATE birds. They are disgusting little creatures. To Martini, this was fun. The birds swooping at her head was like being in her own version of Disneyland..Martini has been trying to catch a bird her whole life. To me: not so much. I ran screaming across our lawn to the back door and ran inside. But i couldn't leave my puppy to get her eyes poked out by a bird mob, so I grabbed the first thing that resembled a bat: the big wooden-looking club from my husbands golf bag. So I ran outside with my sweatshirt over my hair and started swinging at the bird mob. Unfortunately I couldn't hit something with a club if my life depended on it (it might have in this instance), but I scared them off. While the mob was circling overhead, I got my little trouble maker dog and ran inside. I am SO not getting to sleep tonight!